An Open Letter To Shahrukh Khan From A ‘Fan’

Dear Shahrukh,

It’s hard to say I’m your biggest fan after watching Fan. A strange contradiction, that. But maybe that’s the point you were making — that fandom isn’t measured in decibels or screen time. It’s quiet. Constant. And, occasionally, complicated.

I was four when I first saw you on television — Circus, 1989, Doordarshan. The Onida set in our living room at times buzzed at the corners, but nothing interfered with your entrance. I didn’t know what love meant, but I remember pausing. Just… watching. Something about that crooked smile, that hair falling defiantly over your forehead, and the way your shirt always looked like it had better things to do than stay tucked in. A tilt of the head, and a stretch of the arms in signature style was the final nail.

(Read: Shah Rukh Khan: 11 Best Performances Of All Time)

Deewana came next. Then Darr, Baazigar, Anjaam. I watched each performance like I was decoding a secret — a mix of menace and magnetism that Hindi cinema hadn’t seen before. You weren’t the conventional hero. You were unpredictable. Dangerous. And weirdly tender.

By the late ’90s, you were already mythic. So when I heard you were filming Dil Se in Dalhousie — at my school — I knew this was fate circling back. They’d converted our powder blue-roofed porch into a radio station for the shoot. Part of the title track was filmed in the graveyard behind the school. I showed up to class on March 15 with a nervous thrill. You’d wrapped on the 14th.

A day. I missed you by a day.

(Read: 6 Flop Bollywood Movies I Can Watch Over And Over).

Seventeen years later, I saw you — not on TV, not on a poster, but real, and standing right in front of me. October 21, 2014. You were 48 then. Wiser, sharper, still impossibly charismatic. And I had ninety minutes to gaze — unblinking, unbothered, no static this time.

Over the years, critics and fans alike have etched entire volumes on your filmography: Sunil of Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Raj of DDLJ, Mohan Bhargava of Swades, Kabir Khan of Chak De! India. But Fan — that one, you held back. Gaurav Chandna wasn’t just another character. He was the mirror turned inward. A reminder that the distance between a star and their admirer is often more brutal than beautiful.

“There’s a personal me, there’s an actor me and there’s a star me,” you once said. Fan brings together all of that. First shot onward, where we’re taken through a montage of vintage Shahrukh Khan, Fan ceases to be a film. It’s a phenomenon. A celebration of a superstar! It’s not without reason you’re hailed King Khan. And Fan proves it. In more ways than one.

It’s not just the prosthetics or the diction or the twitchy mannerisms that set Gaurav apart. It’s that he feels so… lived in.

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The opening scene. Outside Mannat. The sea of people. The outstretched arms. A wave, a roar, a million prayers launched into the Mumbai air. But Fan doesn’t linger on the star — it finds Gaurav in the crowd. Shoved, breathless, reaching but never quite arriving. That quiet devastation is the film’s sharpest cut. His face holds everything at once — joy, disbelief, hope, and the slow unraveling of it all. It’s crushing to watch that flicker of cheer fade into something closer to despair.

And the scene before, when Gaurav performs to your songs at his local Sitara competition, with your original footage playing in the background gives a high, only a fan will understand.

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And my! The scene where Gaurav finally sees his superstar for the first time, imitates his style and suddenly admits nervous ho raha hoon…! He had me rooting for him all through. Where was that Shahrukh Khan all this while?

As any other critical fan, I’ve been disappointed in some of your bad choices – Chennai Express, Happy New Year, Dilwale — they made me wince. But Fan dusts off the bad memories. Then again, only you have the luxury to pick up any role and still be loved and hailed a superstar.

You’ve often said in your interviews, “I am the best.” For those outside the fandom, it may come off as arrogance — a heady mix of ego and theatrics. But those of us who’ve stayed — through the highs, the missteps, the comebacks — know better. It’s belief. It’s fight. To those who’ve followed the journey, it’s always felt more like quiet conviction — the kind that holds steady, even when everything else shifts.

So no, I may not be your biggest fan. But I am one.

And in a crowd of millions, maybe that’s enough.

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